People always comment how strong I am. How strong I must be to walk around bald all the time. How courageous I am for taking on society with adversity and proving that bald is beautiful. But there is a much simpler answer to all those statements: I am a stubborn woman. Simple as that. I refuse to accept societal expectations for a white, 23 (almost 24) year old woman. I will not conform based on trends, fashion, or something thats "gunna be big." Not because I'm one of those people who are too cool for all that. But simply because I do not care. Don't get me wrong, we're all part of trends and societal changes (i.e.: high waisted shorts making a comeback, skinny jeans in every color imaginable, streaks of color in hair etc...) I have definitely fallen victim to several fashion trends that should have never made a comeback (but who hasn't?) But when I say I don't care, I basically mean I don't care what people think about me being bald. It is what it is. That is the biggest lesson I've learned over the years of being bald. I repeat: It is what it is.
Too many people dissect life into the meaning of every thing and every moment we spend alive that by the time we're dead we wonder where all that time has gone. I cannot stress the importance of living in the now. In my short 24 years, too many people have placed emphasis on my hair loss that so many other great things have been looked over. When people wonder, "How does she do it?" it's simply because I am stubborn. I don't feel like dealing with a cumbersome wig on a daily basis. I don't want to be sweaty and miserable on a day out with friends and family just to appease society. Wearing hair has no benefit to me. I'm unique in my personality and my (lack of) hair just matches that. Who I am is not unique because of my hair. Let me make this very clear: Alopecia does not define me. It has not made me who I am today. I am who I am today because I was fortunate enough to have amazing family and friends throughout my life. Without them, I would not be the same. Sure, some personality traits can be attributed to Alopecia but all it has given me is a new perspective.
Perspective is everything. Without it, it's easy to get lost in the crowd along the way. Perspective is just a different way of looking at things. For instance, my boyfriend brought this up in conversation last week. There are always radio commercials for people with hair loss. Women testifying they felt so ugly with such thin hair or bald spots as they aged, men saying they felt lass masculine with less hair and so on. Then they advertise the product that saved their lives. My boyfriend's point was that before he met me, those commercials didn't really mean anything to him and tuned it out like every other commercial. But now, he hears those and analyzes them with a different perspective. He said, "How shallow are these people? Try living with no hair before bitching about having thin hair!"
And that's something I've really come to respect him for. He really could care less about how I look. No hair, purple hair, black hair or green mohawk and he would treat me just the same. Some people have the unique ability to look past all the aesthetics. To separate the outside from the inside and assess their own feelings based on that. If more people were able to do that, I wouldn't be such a novelty. Baldness in women would not be such an unusual thing and I certainly wouldn't be writing a blog about my stubbornness. Do I advocate being stubborn with every aspect of life? Of course not. Just stick to who you are and remember, it is what it is.